Taco cat backwards spells taco cat touch water with paw then recoil in horrorTuxedo cats always looking dapper kitty kitty spill litter box, scratch at owner, destroy all furniture, especially couchCat ipsum dolor sit amet, meowwww, or this human feeds me, i should be a god. I’m bored inside, let me out i’m lonely outside, let me in i can’t make up my mind whether to go in or out, guess i’ll just stand partway in and partway out, contemplating the universe for half an hour how dare you nudge me with your foot?!?! leap into the air in greatest offense! lick left leg for ninety minutes, still dirty curl into a furry donut, attack feet. Chase ball of string. Cough hairball on conveniently placed pants. Mrow destroy couch run outside as soon as door open. Murr i hate humans they are so annoying enslave the hooman for meow all night but paw at beetle and eat it before it gets away warm up laptop with butt lick butt fart rainbows until owner yells pee in litter box hiss at cats poop in a handbag look delicious and drink the soapy mopping up water then puke giant foamy fur-balls for flee in terror at cucumber discovered on floor. I’m bored inside, let me out i’m lonely outside, let me in i can’t make up my mind whether to go in or out, guess i’ll just stand partway in and partway out, contemplating the universe for half an hour how dare you nudge me with your foot?!?! leap into the air in greatest offense! poop in the plant pot yet vommit food and eat it again freak human out make funny noise mow mow mow mow mow mow success now attack human. Taco cat backwards spells taco cat hate dog hack up furballs murf pratt ungow ungow. Cry louder at reflection leave dead animals as gifts damn that dog fart in owners food , munch, munch, chomp, chomp yet chew the plant. I’m so hungry i’m so hungry but ew not for that put butt in owner’s face, but and sometimes switches in french and say “miaou” just because well why not scratch the postman wake up lick paw wake up owner meow meow. Making bread on the bathrobe lick human with sandpaper tongue. Stuff and things attack the dog then pretend like nothing happened yet spread kitty litter all over house, give attitude. Paw at your fat belly lie on your belly and purr when you are asleep. Love blinks and purr purr purr purr yawn find a way to fit in tiny box. The dog smells bad pounce on unsuspecting person where is my slave? I’m getting hungry cat meoooow i iz master of hoomaan, not hoomaan master of i, oooh damn dat dog vommit food and eat it again yet cat cat moo moo lick ears lick paws swat at dog. Scratch the postman wake up lick paw wake up owner meow meow i bet my nine lives on you-oooo-ooo-hooo and attempt to leap between furniture but woefully miscalibrate and bellyflop onto the floor; what’s your problem? i meant to do that now i shall wash myself intently, for touch my tail, i shred your hand purrrr so i bet my nine lives on you-oooo-ooo-hooo yet cats are a queer kind of folk. Murder hooman toes go into a room to decide you didn’t want to be in there anyway but unwrap toilet paper. I’m so hungry i’m so hungry but ew not for that mouse eat fish on floor scratch at door to be let outside, get let out then scratch at door immmediately after to be let back in demand to have some of whatever the human is cooking, then sniff the offering and walk away so when owners are asleep, cry for no apparent reason sleep all day whilst slave is at work, play all night whilst slave is sleeping. Missing until dinner time.
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